God in the midst of suffering
- Adrian Espinosa
- May 3, 2022
- 3 min read
“Crisis: an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending”
- Merriam Webster
'Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. '
- Psalm 69:1-2
“God isn’t watching”
“God didn’t do anything”
“He never answered my prayers”
“He let this happen”
“How could I trust Him again after this?”
I have heard and unfortunately believed many of these thoughts before. I have believed these lies and let them determine who I am.I was blinded before by the fear of God’s lack of response. I bargained with Him, when He wasn’t even at the table. My question “how could you do this”, echoed into His eternal halls of holiness, without response.
When we are in the midst of a crisis, we often forget that God kept us safe in the midst of comfort. When a crisis comes, we are quick to point the finger at Him. In logic, it may be an accurate assessment to do so, as He is omnipotent. However, life is beyond logic at times, beyond reason and is random. Utterly and completely without purpose. Does everything happen for a reason or is everything meaningless? God says yes.
It would be overly simplistic and foolish to say that every death was in its perfect timing or preordained. Death, sickness, and tragedy are all inevitable factors of a fallen world, but not all of them make sense. That is why despite living in a fallen world, we have a beacon of hope. A shining beacon, not empowered by worldly properties or value. Our hope and truth in the midst of meaningless tragedy, is Jesus Christ. Now I can feel your eyes rolling in the back of your head but wait just a minute. Understand this, in the midst of public praise, Jesus laid His innocent life down for a death brought from public shame and suffering. Innocent of all charges, He was tortured and murdered publicly. In every way, He became the physical representation of our brokenness. Then three days later, rose from death itself and gave eternal, holy life and strength to endure to all who would follow Him. So if anyone can relate to your crisis, it’s Jesus.
I can tell you from personal experience, the only thing that got me through many crises, has been Christ. The most recent, resulting in having to leave my dream job, leave my apartment, and risk losing my teaching license. That wasn’t the end of it either, I had to deal with daily mental health battles, demons coming in my room, and being sedated for about a month. But I wasn’t alone, even when things were at their worst and I wanted to give up, I clung to Jesus. I asked Him the hard questions, I had to fight to believe His answers, and I had to trust Him to provide more than ever before. Coming out of it, I am stronger in my faith, stronger in my mental health, and more secure in knowing God has been the key to getting me through it all.
I cannot answer your own crisis with a fortune cookie answer, it wouldn't be fair to you. But I can give you a hard but a sweet truth. Despite this chaotic life, Jesus can be your rock in the chaos. The hope in the midst of your drowning. I challenge and urge you to cling to Jesus and ask Him your hard questions. Don’t bargain for a way out, engage with Him in the midst of crisis. If He answers, great! If He doesn't, press in and see if His silence is an opening for another way for Him to reach you. Reach out and cling to Him, let Him be your rock of ages, so that you don’t drown in your crisis.
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